Finding My Way

OK, so I just got back from Mexico. I was on a mission trip to Queretaro working with nationals from (oh great I can’t remember the name of the church there)..Anyway, I learned a few things while I was there. #1. The Mexican people are generous beyond what I had thought possible. #2. Queretaro is probably the cleanest city I’ve ever seen. And Finally, #3 Sharing my testimony/story is still difficult to do, but my words speak volumns to many. I never really knew how my story would effect others, and it seemed to me that every time I turned around, Israel would say to me, “Cait, would you share your testimony for us now?” I wanted to say, “Nah, ya’ll don’t want to hear this.” But I was so wrong.  In sharing it with others actually helped me remember one basic concept that I think as Christians we forget sometime.  God is Good, All the Time!

Yes, Robb dying in Iraq is the pits, or as Priscilla says, “it’s a shit sandwich”, but there has been some good come out of this. Aside from all of the crap that has been said to me/done to me etc, people really listened to what I had to say, and in turn my words had a great effect on me. I’ve been reminded by myself that there is a purpose with my circumstances. I forget this at times, but I need to remember the purpose is not necessarily what I think how it should be. Still, there are days when it is difficult.

I don’t particularily like my life as a single person. I much rather have Robb around so we can hold hands while we walk down the street. I’d have someone to give a smooch to when I want to, and most of all I’d have my best friend that I could talk to. I really miss all of this stuff. And I could do without the crap that people say to me, but alas that is not my life. My life now is different than from before, but I can’t say yet that it’s better, no can’t say that and I won’t. But my life is changing, and I’m not exactly sure if the change is a really good change or a sorta good change, or just a change. COMPRENDE’? You see, it’s like a trip that I’m taking and I don’t have any directions from anyone to tell me where to go. I get to find out all on my own. It’s a bit odd when someone tells me what they think I should be doing, but I know they are just trying to help me. In reality, it just pisses me off when someone does that. So I found myself in Mexico on a mission trip. I’m not sure if this path is the ONE for me, but I’m glad I went and discovered a few things.

I enjoy doing something for others.  Cooking is always a great stress relief. Evangelism isn’t one of my gifts, but I’ll do it when the opportunity arises.

So, I’m finding my way. Some might disagree with the way I’m heading, but it ain’t their life now is it? NOPE, so I’ll continue to find my way in this odd strange world we live in.

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