Monday mornings can be a good thing

I’m sitting here at the Anderson Cafe on Clark College and it’s 7:37am. Yes I’m here this early for a specific reason. If I come here at 8:30, I can’t find a place to park. There is one single truth about Clark College, the parking lot is full by 7:50am every morning. Now there are other truths about Clark, but this post won’t be about them. Parking is a pain here at Clark.

There are various reasons for the horrible parking situation here, but I think the main one is that we all love to drive ourselves to school. Lots of students take public transportation to get here, but apparently it’s not enough to make a difference with the parking situation. I, myself, drive and I was going to write down a reason why, but reality has set into my brain and I really don’t have a really good reason why I drive in by myself.

I could drive in with someone from my neighborhood, or pick someone up on my way in, but the truth is I’ve never have taken that one step to find out if that’s a possibility. I know, I’m rotten, but I come by it honestly. When it comes down to the nitty gritty, I value my alone time in my truck. I like driving by myself. I don’t have to talk to anyone, listen to music I don’t like, or listen to some person pontificate about how rotten their life is.

I guess you can say I’m selfish. And you know what? I’m OK with that for now. Because in my life Monday mornings can be a good thing, especially when I drive to school on my own.

Day after Valentines Day

Kassie Collins and me at the Anchorage marathon

Kassie and Me

So yesterday I went to school, did the whole school thing and I had a good day. Did I get a Valentine from anyone? NO. But I it’s not a big deal to me. Frankly I don’t understand why it’s such a huge deal to some women on a few of the groups I’m in on Facebook. I mean one day of the year does not define your life, well it doesn’t define mine in the least. One day of the year doesn’t say who loves you or who you love. That is a year-long commitment, so determining that your life is not worth it because there are no Valentine presents says a lot of your mindset. I understand that mindset, but I’m no longer bound to it as I once was. I think that to live a life worth living, you must love others first. I think to live a life worth living you need to love your life as it is. It may not be a perfect life, and it may not be what you want your life to be. But it’s the life you have been given, so put on your big girl panties and LIVE IT!

I’m trying really hard to do just that. I have only my daughter, her two kids, her husband, and his daughter for my immediate family.  That little family is all I have, but I love them with my very being. I’m learning so much at Clark, and I’m enjoying going to class and interacting with people. I love it when I can help another student figure out what to do or what something means. It makes my day when that happens. I’m traveling when I have the money, and I go on TAPS retreats as often as I can simply because they are FUN!!!

I still fight depression on a daily basis, but my life is a good life now. I didn’t think I’d ever get here 5+ years ago, but it happened. Go figure. Me of all people has a good life. It’s a little lonely at times, but it’s a good life none the less.

The above picture was taken in Anchorage Alaska. I was on a TAPS Retreat, The Alaskan Adventure, and believe me it was an adventure. Had a super time and I got to meet a great bunch of military widows. I love these retreats and I plan to go on more in the future. OH and if you haven’t been to Alaska, you are missing out on a beautiful place.