Alone

The past two weeks have been difficult for me. Between the anniversary of my husband’s death in combat, and the birthday of my late son it’s been a challenge to stay sane and functioning. What I have found is interesting to me and I’ll here with you so maybe you might learn something.

I can’t count how many times people I know have said to me, “you are not alone.” Nice sentiment. Is it true? No, it’s not true because I am alone for at least 95% of the time. On Friday and Saturday nights a lot of people go out together, but of all the people I know, no one has asked me to join them or to come over for dinner in the last 6 years. “you’re not alone.” I can count on my right and left hands how many times someone has asked me to come out to lunch after church on Sunday. “you’re not alone.” However as time has progressed I have learned that I am alone contrary to what some people believe or want for me.

Where are these people who say I’m not alone, when in fact I am alone? Why do they say that? Is it because they believe I’m not alone or is it they believe wholeheartedly that no one is ever alone if they have Jesus in their life? Well, I am a Christian (pretty liberal one), but if I hear Jesus literally talking to me I’m most likely dead. So saying that just doesn’t cut the mustard in my view.

There hasn’t been anyone whom I could bounce my ideas off of and just have a normal everyday conversation with for 8 years now. OH, my daughter calls and my granddaughter calls, but it’s not like they are in the room with me having a conversation. I think people say “you’re not alone” because they want to believe you aren’t alone. If you are, then they might believe they are failing at their job of “caring for the widows and orphans.”

So the next time someone says to me, “you are not alone.” I will gently correct them and respond with, “if I’m not alone, then how come my phone never rings with an invite?”

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One thought on “Alone

  1. In a different circumstance than you (but the same feelings), I have been trying to become patient in my problems. Let me tell you it is difficult. It’s true your not alone (as well as myself), but I haven’t tried getting out there because of my disbelief in myself. I can only hope it gets easier for you!

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