What was said

Last night at AWANA’s a mom was talking to me at my desk/table (i’m the Sparky secretary so I’m at AWANA club) The conversation was a normal one for the most part. She asked if I was married and I said that I am a widow yada yada. She asked how Robb died, so I told here, yada yada. Then she asked how many kids I have, and I told her 2 but one lives in heaven yada yada. When she discovered that Dylan died 18 months after Robb she said something to me that I still can’t totally fathom.

She said, “so how long did you grieve? you seem to be over it” Now I’ll admit it’s a normal type of question to ask a person who is going through grief. Well it’s normal to those who haven’t gone through grief maybe. Now don’t worry I wasn’t mean or disrespectful in my answer.

I simply told her that grief, at least for me, has not ended and I don’t see that happening in the immediate future. I realize that people put a time stamp on grief, but I really and truly believe putting some sort of time limit on grief doesn’t do anyone any good at all. Grief, I believe, will be a part of my life until the day I die. Now you may disagree, but you see the wonderful thing about this is very simple. I’m OK with it! 

I watched my Grandmother walk this life of grief and I never met my Uncle Chuck who was killed in WWll. I don’t think my grandmother ever “got over” Chuck’s death. She lived a good life. She was content in her surroundings, and she was a hellofa awesome woman. But she always grieved the loss of her first son, Charles William Weill. 

So, you see, that’s why I think this way about grief. It never ends, it just gets easier to live with.

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