This is MY MAN

Today I seem to really miss my man, Robb.  I really just want him to come up to me, give me a huge hug, tell me everything will be OK, and not to worry.  I just really need that right now, and I know I’m not going to get it.  It’s days like this that make being an Iraq Enduring Freedom widow really the pits.  So many things have happened since he’s been gone and it’s all on me.  No support from a soul.  No help from anyone.  BUT there seem to be a lot of people telling me what to do with my money, time, and energy.  Where is Robb when I truly need him?  Try Section JJ grave 399 at Willamette National C

Cigar Man

My Main Man

emetery in Portland Oregon.  I’m angry cause I’m in this all alone. I’m angry because “family” has been shit to me.  I’m angry because no matter how kind friends are, they just don’t get it at all.  They try, but they don’t really get it.

Today more than ever I feel like I’m all alone.  Welcome to my world


2 thoughts on “This is MY MAN

  1. You know, truthfully, that you are not alone, so how do you wish people would respond to you on “these” days? What would you really want to hear if someone where to talk to you about this.

    PS: I have that same Arafat scarf! I wonder where it went to. Hee hee.

    • Lorelle,
      It’s hard to verbalize what I’d wish people to say. A lot of times I get some really stupid remarks, one even was “I know how you feel, my dog died.” After that one I just walked away, and now I rarely ever say anything like what I wrote to anyone. About a month after Dylan died, my only son died 18 months after Robb, my friend Steve took me rafting downt he Illinios River in Southern Oregon. Great river and it was really scary but I had a blast rafting with Steve. He took me to get me away from the house and all of the crap that was going on. I think it was the best thing anyone has ever done for me. I don’t think discussing my grief with anyone will help, except for my psychologist, and I have no plans on talking to my friends. It’s been over 5 years since Robb was killed, and almost 4 since Dylan died, I’m sure they are tired of the topic. So for now I’d rather people not say anything to me about it, I’ll just keep writing what I feel when I feel the need to write it down.

      See, when people ask me how I am, and I answer, “OK.” they usually say, “Just OK?” But my question is what in the heck is wrong with being OK? OK is good and it beats the heck out of crappy, don’t it? So you see, it’s hard for me to talk to others and have them respond in a manner that’s benificial. I know they mean well, but in reality most of them fail. But then again that’s why I see my psychologist!

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